Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Miss Misery

I'm sick and aching today. I think maybe all the fun and lack of sleep over the past weekend finally caught up to me this morning. When I woke up for class, I got woozy... so I laid down for just a couple more minutes. But then, I passed out immediately and didn't wake up again for another hour and a half. Which means that I missed class. Damn. I really didn't want to do that.

So... I've been very unproductive all day long. And there's nothing worse than that to make me feel completely hopeless about nothing and everything all at once. Sometimes I just feel utterly unoriginal and absolutely un-extraordinary. This is one of those days. I hate it when that happens... it turns me into a full-blown Miss Misery.

Sometimes I feel wrong inside my own head... as if every excited feeling I've ever had has been completely imaginary. And then I just end up thinking myself in circles - not really coming into any coherent solutions about anything. Then after thinking that way, my mind feels totally blank and useless. It's all very confusing, and I don't even know how to properly put it in words.

I'm not sad at all. On the contrary, I think I'm kind of happy. But then again, I can't really be sure. It's just weird. The only thing I want to do right now is something, anything, to work the creative muscles... but I don't know what. I don't feel like playing guitar. I don't have a piano. I don't have a brilliant idea for a piece of creative writing. I can't draw to save my life. I don't want to go to sleep. I'm fully caught-up on LOST (which normally gets my imagination running). And if I start reading Twilight again, I'll be done for. There is nothing that I have enough motivation for to do at this moment except rant on my blog - and even then, I'll be done very very soon.

This is quite a conundrum.

1 comment:

Kimberly said...

make some filipino food! mmmm....send me some lumpia!

and I get the same way...its rather annoying to be stuck inside your own head, literally your own worst enemy...but at least you know that no one can ever affect you or have as much of an impact on you as you do on yourself. Thats something. <3