People crack me up.
I was in a Starbucks in Covent Garden earlier, doing some academic reading over a white mocha, when this crazy blonde British woman asked if she could take a seat across from me. It wasn't really a big deal to begin with - because sharing tables with strangers is quite a normal phenomenon here in London - so I thought nothing of it. She was nice enough, a little quirky with the greeting, but nothing too scary.
So she sat down, and I went back to reading The Arcades Project by Walter Benjamin. But my critical thought processes shut down after about 5 minutes, when the blonde woman decided to call a friend of hers (whom she referred to as "my little darling") and started talking about this "awesome gig" she sang at last night and how her faith in guitarists has been restored because of a lovely ("bless, him") little man called Duncan.
I tried to tune her out, really I did, but it was all to no avail. She was cackling so loud that I don't think anyone in the entire cafe could even hear their own thoughts. And the funny thing is that she had her phone on the table, while talking through some ugly mouthpiece with attached headphones.
She was holding the mouthpiece in front of her pouty lips, but couldn't just pick up the damn phone off the table. Why do people do that???? We're in London.. you're not driving or even walking! Take the stupid headphones off and pick up the phone!!!! Seriously!!! This annoyed me... EXTREMELY. Anyway, I managed to sneak a picture of her with my cell phone.
It took about another 5 minutes before I just gave up on my reading completely and headed out of there.
And THEN... on my way home, I was standing on the escalator going up out of Manor House tube station, when I noticed that the girl in front of me had these ugly poop-colored Uggs on. Wait, this isn't the annoying part.
I dug my phone out of my pocket as quick as I could to take a picture, but only managed to get one of her stepping off the escalator. You can only really see one foot here, BUT... she was wearing the Uggs like a retarded fat-footed person. She wasn't even fat - but she was stepping on the sides of her boots instead of the actual bottoms, as if her stupid feet were too wide for her stupid boots. Oh. My. God! Pull them up before you start walking... is it so hard???
I'm telling you, people are crazy.