Pure Imagination

I haven't really done much in the last couple of days. After my welcome program finished on Wednesday I've spent a lot of time at home, with exception to doing a little bit of sight-seeing, attending a local London party on Saturday night and going out for breakfast on Sunday morning. For the most part, I spent today keeping out of the rain (or what my housemate likes to call "proper English weather"). So during all this indoor time, I managed to put together a little something with collected pictures and video clips of summer. And I finished it just in time... because I actually DO have school-related stuff to do tomorrow and Thursday.

So I'm thinking that this post doesn't really warrant a roman numeral because it's more of a reminiscing thing than it is newly informative. Whatever... it makes sense to me.

It was a lot of fun to make, and I found myself getting lost in it and sometimes forgetting where I am. I half expected to just pick up my cell phone and call any one of you to meet up for coffee. But no worries... if anything, it kept me from feeling lonely.

Anyway here it is... enjoy!

The phonograph that plays your favorite albums back.

I'll miss the days like this, when I'm miles away in winter winds, and your gentle voice echoes in my brain. I'll think about the time we sat hand-in-hand in the Cadillac while we watched the sun rising out of night.

You help me sink to sleep when you sing to me inside my dreams, a guitar in-hand and the tapping of your feet. I'll take the glasses off your head while you lay back in bed, and our nerves will shake from falling in so deep.

I'll be the one who waits outside for you while you drive into the street where we say our last goodnight. And when I'm gone from here, I'll remember dancing in the air and laughing as we crawled under the sheets.

Everything will change.

The summer is fleeting, and the closer I get to saying goodbye, the more important it becomes to make every passing moment count. Maybe I just wasn't paying enough attention before. Maybe expressions of love have become matters of urgency. Either way, this last weekend has got me speaking in diary lyrics and archiving mental pictures like priceless works of art.

There are some people in my life that I may just love too much. It's not a bad thing. It's overwhelming sometimes, but I'm deadly addicted to it. I want to remember everything... the prolonged hugs and the need for excess, and the way conversations keep seeming to turn heavy, as if to make up in advance for those I'll miss in the next year.

Everything will change

I want to hear you say you'll take me where you go, even if I'm gone. We'll make a new escape, I'll hold you from behind, we'll leap into a cloud.
These days will keep me near, in photographs of life where we held each other tight.




I want to take you far from the cynics in this town, and kiss you on the mouth. We'll cut our bodies free from the tethers of this scene, start a brand new colony...
Where everything will change. We'll give ourselves new names... identities erased.
The sun will hear the grounds under our bare feet in this brand new colony.

Birthdays

The end of summer and the beginning of fall always seems to come with a rushed sense of celebration. So many of my friends, including myself, have birthdays during this time. And maybe, even though most of us aren't in school anymore, there's something about the end of summer that requires some last minute fun, before the cold sets in and things get serious again.



Yet no matter how much older I get each year, I'm glad to say that I still enjoy celebrating. Today is Aleem's birthday. Yesterday was his party at Candlelight Lounge. Despite the overpriced drinks and general bad attitude of many of the bouncers (towards the guys, at least), it wasn't a bad time.

The best thing about birthdays is that we can act as young as we feel. And while strangers may look at us and judge, perhaps jealously, that we're acting immature and foolish, it really doesn't matter what they think.

What matters is that we're enjoying life and remembering to celebrate the good times, even as we grow older...

(Untitled)

It's been a rough week.

RIP Eric B.

The sunlight in my universe

Some things never change, no matter how much time passes or how twisted-up outside circumstances get. It's been almost a week since I've gotten back from Asia, and although it took me a few days to recover from the severe jet lag, mosquito bites and horrid chest cold, things have pretty much gone back to normal.

Having been away from some of my favorite people for the last month has really renewed strong feelings of pride and love for what I've got here. I always knew that I had extraordinary friends... but it's never until I'm separated from them and then reunited, that I remember how great it feels to laugh and to be a part of something so real.

Even though some human drama is inevitable when you have such a large circle, where many people tend to come and go, there always seems to be an unfaltering foundation that holds up the bonds between genuine friends. Despite the petty arguments and bruised egos of past conflicts, it eventually comes around full-circle to where it all started - a relationship based on sincere caring.

Relationships like that are what make the mundane things, like going out for sushi or having the last cigarette of the night, that much more memorable. When it's that STUFF... the little things... that you can always comfortably share with your friends, you'll never run short of memories.

And in me particularly, it creates an encouraging sense of confidence that even if I leave home for a year, I'll have something grand to come back home to. It's been a very happy week. I've experienced nothing but an outpour of love and support from the people I hold most dear. They welcomed me back home as soon as I set foot into the country, they told me they missed me, and they told me they would miss me even more when I leave next month. And some, whom I've had some serious ups and downs with in the past, became the most adamant in sharing experiences with me.

It's a really amazing feeling to be loved... in all aspects of the word. And I consider myself extremely lucky for all the great people in my life (despite their flaws and little idiosyncrasies). Because I probably wouldn't be me without them, and I'm not sure I'd have the courage to strive for greatness without their support.

They say that old habits die hard... and in this case, I'm really glad they do.

Think I'm in love.

The feeling that you gave me

Anybody could scroll through my iTunes music library and discover that I have eclectic taste. I like a variety of music... from classic Beatles, to indie kids like Death Cab, to mega-popstars like Michael Jackson.

But there are only a few artists that I can really call exceptional. I think that in order to fit into that category, the music needs to be timeless and have the ability to penetrate the soul like some sort of spiritual epiphany. One artist that does just that for me: Jack White.

I know that I talk quite a bit about Jack - but I can't help it. Every time he comes out with something new, whether it's with The White Stripes or The Raconteurs.. or some solo project, I'm amazed even more at how infinite his ability is as a musician. The man understands music, and the soul - and he just shares it with the world.

I saw The Raconteurs live for the 2nd time over the weekend @ The Joint /Hard Rock Hotel in Las Vegas. They are incredible.

Of all the concerts I've been to - which number somewhere in the hundreds in my lifetime, I don't think I've ever felt closer to being an ACTUAL PART of the music than when I saw The Raconteurs this weekend.

Me and seven of my friends made the trek out to sin city to see them and somehow secured a spot inside The Joint that was right up against the stage. I swear Jack made eye contact with me and gave me a smile during "Steady as she goes." I know that was a really groupie-thing to say, but fuck it - let me dream.

"If you lose all your money, break all the windows in the hotel on your way out." - Jack White

Anyway, their show was flawless. The set list couldn't have been better. If there were any mistakes, nobody heard them. They played the crowd as well as their own instruments and for the most part - it felt like we were all stuck in a giant amplifier, putting out the sound of perfection as one autonomous thing. I don't mean to make this sound romanticized at all... it's just how I felt.

There was one particular moment that I will never forget. Right after Jack's spontaneous guitar solo in "Blue Veins," this look came over his face that so exemplified what their band had just done to everyone in the crowd. It was that "I know I just got you off" kind of look. He knew it... they were manipulating everything that was going on at that moment - and the room might as well have imploded right there.

I really look forward to the next time I see these guys. And I am so glad they exist, because they really know how to make their audience a part of their music, not just bystanders.

And in general, what Jack White can do with his guitar and his voice makes me feel fulfilled in a way that's a bit difficult to fully describe. I believe that there's a common connection between people and things. By nature, I think that we're all a part of each other. And no other force besides incredible music, especially what comes out of Jack White, reminds me of that feeling.

The Long and Winding Road

It's easy to forget about the good times you had with someone when you think your friendship is over. And when you spend more than a year dwelling on all the bad stuff and the hurt feelings- letting the resentment sink in deeper each day, that makes it even easier to forget.

In many ways it's like being stranded on a desert island and getting separated from the only other person that could help you. You're both stuck in the same place, but alone, following different paths, hoping to get to the shore where you can be rescued. And all of a sudden, the only thing you seem to care about is yourself... your own survival.

My faith in true friendship was restored tonight.

We're all different people, with different needs at different times. Whenever a friendship falls apart, it becomes a test- a fork in the path where we are forced to decide the better route to best suit our personal circumstances.

You may decide to go one way, and your friend may decide to go the other way.

But if you care about each other enough... your paths will cross again. And when they do, you'll both be stronger for having survived on your own for a little while.


The long and winding road that leads to your door... will never disappear. I've seen that road before... it always leads me here.


I spent some time with an old friend tonight. After more than a year of silent bickering, we finally decided to put our past behind us. It's never good for any worthy relationship to let the hurt feelings take over.

Dear friend... tonight I remembered the good times, and the reason why I care about you so much. I remembered that special thing about you that makes me want to be the best person I CAN be. Most importantly, it was the bad stuff that I forgot about this time. Thanks for tonight... and the two hugs. I love you too.

Lover In The Snow

It's hard to know where to begin when trying to describe recent events of the last week or so.

Two Thursdays ago, I was driving up to Big Bear with my friends for the weekend. That was an outrageous blur of fun. (Hence the use of my own video in lieu of an actual Rivers Cuomo video for "Lover In The Snow.")



And then we came back and I was sick for practically the whole week... while sad things happened to people I did and didn't know (RIP Devin M. and Heath Ledger). It rained a whole lot... actually, it's still raining. The sadness is just emanating from everywhere.

But despite all these up and down feelings - this weekend felt like something completely new. The last few days have been pretty great for me, partially because I've been editing the Big Bear videos... but also because it's been a weekend of birthday celebrations and good news.

Brandon got a job at United Airlines. I get to go watch presidential candidates debate each other LIVE this week.

And ready? Here's the crazy part...

The old band MAY be getting together soon to record some old songs- according to a short but sweet conversation I had earlier. Wasn't I just reminiscing about this in my last post? While I don't plan on getting my hopes up too high, I'm still gonna' allow myself to feel good about this potentiality. After all, Feb. 5, 2008 is coming up... 1 year and 3 months exactly from the date the last major life-changing thing happened to me.

For those of you who have no idea what I'm talking about, 1 year and 3 months is the amount of time I've determined to be my "personal cycle of life changing events." It's been a weird pattern that I've observed.

Anyway... why NOT feel good about recording the songs.. right? I was watching a documentary on John Lennon earlier and there was this part where he was being interviewed by some guy who asked if the Beatles were ever gonna' get back together. And he said "I can't really say. If we do, I'll be happy. The memories are fond and the wounds are healed." But he said that he wouldn't make the first move.

And then he was killed.

And in light of the too-close-for-comfort feelings about death I've had in the last few days, it just seems petty and stupid to let some old wounds get in the way of something beautiful. So when O. came up and gave me a hug hello earlier, I found myself blurting out to him that "hey..I wanted to call you.. but I didn't. What do you think about maybe getting together and recording some songs for old time's sake?" And he said he'd been thinking about the same thing too lately. And that made me happy.

I have a really, really good feeling about this year. I hope I'm right.

Falling Slowly

Take this sinking boat and point it home... we've still got time.
Raise your hopeful voice, you have a choice...You've made it now.

I saw the movie Once for the first time this weekend and although it's definitely an acquired-taste type of film, it really hit home for me. It's a weird thing - movies... how you always seem to "accidentally" rent the one that suits exactly what you're feeling at the time.

It makes me think that people really are connected on a broader level - that we're all experiencing the same thing at the same time, just not necessarily in the same way.

Regardless, the movie reminded me of good times... of having a band and the unexplainable feeling of success after writing a song that says exactly what you want it to say.

There's honestly no better test for chemistry between people than putting them together in a room and asking them to create a work of art. That's when the truth comes out - often without words, but instead with a vibe that others feel with you.

And when it comes to music - there's something so magical about being with that select few who feel it as much as you do.

You pull out your guitars, start strumming your favorite songs and belt out with so much conviction that it's like the song was written just for you - just to express that piece of emotion that could never be expressed otherwise. It gives you a sense of hope and longing - and an urge to send your own message out to the world.

Then you realize that there's something deeper there than just a few friends singing some songs - it's real-life magic. It makes other people want to blow bubbles... and watch them vibrate as harmonies stream through the amps. Everybody's smiling and singing, and you're happy because YOU helped other people feel the magic too.

Being in a band with two of my best friends was one of the greatest experiences of my life. It was a different kind of camaraderie and it brought out the possibility of being connected to people in a way that so many other people would never understand.

Sometimes we would have those perfectly "on" days where everything just sounded flawless... when the feeling was all there, and there was nothing to cloud the creativity.

Then there were those days where everything would just go wrong - when we couldn't figure out how to get the recording mics to work, then someone would break a guitar string or the sustain pedal on the keyboard would stop working. Even still, it would be a pretty good day - because we learned something new and we learned it together. We'd just end the day with a shot of Jack and one of our favorite rock albums.

I miss those days. It's been more than a year since we've played any of our songs together... but hopefully time will continue to heal some wounds and one day, we'll be back in the garage playing Light My Fire together.

This is to pay homage to the love of art... and to pay homage to writing about trampolines and people named Charlie.